A Day at the Beach

I'm guessing you're expecting selfies and bathing suit photos? Nope. Not that kind of beach trip. 

I worked on Chicago's northshore for just over five years. When I was feeling overly stressed or just needed something different to do at lunch, I would drive east 25 minutes to sit at the shore of Lake Michigan. It didn't give me much time to do anything but enjoy the view, but that was more than enough.

My favorite lunch spot

I'd become a bit stir crazy this past week, so on a sunny day I hopped in my car to go for a drive. I drove myself here subconsciously, soon doing my best to recognize old landmarks. It took just over an hour to get there, but it was worth it.

On a clear day you can see to... Michigan

I hate to swim, but I've always enjoyed listening to the water. It's something I've missed greatly since my return to the midwest... I hadn't realized how much until I arrived here. I spent nearly sixty minutes simply staring out at the lake and listening to the waves hit the shore. Had the smell of salt water been in the air, I could've convinced myself that I was back on the west coast. Instead, I forced myself to recognize the view as Chicago. As home.

The Great Lakes are not the Pacific ocean, but they can be damn impressive. I should take better advantage of them.

Down The Rabbit Hole

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession blog post.

I know, right?! I have no idea how that happened either. I've thought about posting, but in the end I didn't. In the end, nothing felt 'interesting enough' to share.

That's the hurdle I've been struggling with... to make home interesting. In my life, I've always considered the adventure to be elsewhere. Home is the safe, stable place and the crazy, exciting part of life is in another city, another state, or another country. Home is where I come to do the job that earns me the money that allows me to go off and do the fun things. Not where the exciting parts of life happen. It's that mindset that's knocked me down into the rabbit hole.

You know that hole... where complacency and routine reign. Where you think, "Ugh, I'm tired. I'll go do that interesting thing next time" or "I should focus on the things I have to accomplish at work. That should be most important." That's a dangerous place to live and I fell right back into it.

It's so easy, though! We spend so much time there as adults it becomes our comfort zone. I was aware of this danger when I returned to Chicago and I vowed that I'd explore and experience the city as if it were new to me. And I did occasionally... but more often than not I fell back into old routines and habits... and down the rabbit hole I went.

So here I am, two months later, doing my best to drag myself out and look around. Yes, there are the dangers on the surface. You could get lost. You be caught in a storm without shelter. You could be hit by some asshole driving their car while texting. Anything is possible! The rabbit hole is safe because nothing changes. Nothing. Changes. ...God, that sounds horrible, doesn't it?

It is now my promise to you, dear reader, that I will post a minimum of twice a week from now on. As much as I hope to entertain and interest you, it will be my motivation to get out of my rabbit hole and find the interesting things at home. Because if this is where I'm spending most of my time... damn it, it should be fun.

I Didn't 'Walk the Walk'

The experience of relocating to a city in which you know very few people - if any - is a challenging one. As I was making the effort to meet new people and form relationships in Vancouver, I promised myself that the next time I encountered someone who was new to a city I'm living in that I would work hard to make them feel welcome. I'd go above and beyond the standard, "Welcome! I'm sure I'll see you around!" and actually spend time with that person. I'd include them in things my friends and I were doing. I'd call them to say hi. I'd introduce them to people. I'd go way beyond the standard of midwestern hospitality - I'd become an annoying, over enthusiastic, one-woman welcome wagon!

So naturally, this past Sunday I became a hypocrite.

Leaving an improv workshop downtown, I chatted with a girl who had recently moved to the city from the state of Michigan. We walked together back to the train, discussing the struggles of finding 'your people' in a new place and the perils of learning a new public transit system. As we parted I smiled and said, "It was great meeting you! I'm sure I'll see you around!" and I walked away.

It wasn't until I settled into my seat that I realized what had happened... I had become the person I promised myself I wouldn't be. Granted, there's nothing wrong with that person, but I wanted to be someone different. Instead, I was that distracted local who assumed someone else would help her out.

Turns out I was big on talk, but low on follow-through.

The upside - I've been telling myself - is that I will most likely see her again at a class/workshop/performance and have a chance to make good on my promise. Let's hope it's soon - I have a lot of 'new girl' karma to pay back.

I Used to Do This?

I haven't posted in a while, I know. I've been doing things - interesting things! Things I'd like to share. But holy cow, having a job is exhausting! I've only been doing some contract work this past week and a half, but I arrive home each night with just enough energy to eat dinner and stare at the television. How did I hold down a full time job - one with a significant amount of travel - while also taking classes and seeing friends in the evening? 

My life of leisure has changed me more than I expected. My temporary job is over, but I'll now be venturing into downtown Chicago for the next week to volunteer with the Chicago Improv Festival. (Though I'll be taking a break from hilarity to indulge in nerdiness at the Chicago Comics & Entertainment Expo on Saturday.) Will I survive my new schedule? Or will spending late nights in a theater return me to my life-in-Vancouver night owl?

Time will tell. ...but right now I have some time, so I'm going to spend it napping.

Paper Cuts Equal Big Bucks

Despite my rough condition when arriving in Chicago, I've been lucky to have a nice cushion to land on. My previous employer has been gracious and desperate enough to invite me back to complete some odd jobs as they prepare for the association's annual meeting.

It's definitely surreal being back, but it's mostly comfortable. So comfortable it's almost like I never left... but I'm trying not to over think this. After all, I'm not being paid to think! I'm being paid to collate paper and stuff it into bigger pieces of folded paper, known as envelopes. To complete this highly-skilled task I'm using all the knowledge of my Bachelor's Degree and two professional certifications... ok, that's a lie. But if ever any degree needed a class in avoiding paper cuts, it's event planning.

Nevertheless, I'm incredibly grateful to have a purpose each day and to be responsible to someone other than myself. And for the opportunity to actually increase the amount in my checking account.

Things I am not grateful for:

• Having to set an alarm clock
• Filling out a W9 Form
• Being exhausted by 5pm on a Tuesday
• Disruption of my TV viewing schedule. I'd just started 'Orphan Black,' people!

Being back in my old office really is a bit of a trip. To prove to you the universe is enjoying messing with me, this song was playing on the radio when I pulled into the parking garage.

I know, right?!

I Live Here

I once walked-in on a conversation between my then-boss and colleague, and was asked "What is the first thing you do when you move to a new town?" I answered, "Get a library card." Judging by their expressions, I didn't provide the tie-breaking answer they were looking for.

It's true, though. I've never felt like a belonged to a town or city until I had a library card. It seems outdated, I know, but libraries are amazing! You can borrow books - paper or electronic - for free. TV shows and movies are available on DVD - not everything can be on Netflix. And they offer a variety of other community services, too. See? Amazing!

So in honor of hitting the date I had originally planned to return to Chicago, I drove myself over to my local library and registered for a card.

Stripes!

Apparently they've come a long way from the laminated, colored paper I had last had at my last library! 

I wandered about, scanned the books and pulled a few off the shelves that I'd read previously. I ended at an astrology book I'd enjoyed as a teenager. Opening it to the date of my birthday, I read the following:

"Ordinary life does not hold a great fascination for those born on this day, and they quickly become bored by the mundane. In the case of August 6 people tied to ordinary jobs or less-than-stellar family situations, there is a danger that they will retreat into a fantasy world to get their kicks. There is also a good chance that following years of deep frustration and angst they may finally decide to leave their stability behind and set out in search of new horizons. After making such drastic changes, an August 6 person may realize that he/she was never cut out for a settled life after all. Some born on this day day may feel a measure of bitterness that they didn't make the discovery sooner."

I wasn't bitter when I read this, I was floored. I couldn't decide if I needed to renew my belief in astrology or if reading this as a teenager had subliminally planted the idea in my brain to someday wander about in my car. Either way, it's quite accurate, isn't it?!

But the wandering is done for now and I continue to adjust to life back in my hometown. After all, I officially live here now. I have a library card.

Yup, I'm Still Here

Pneumonia is a pain in the... lungs. And the rib cage. And I'm exhausted.

I am feeling better than when I arrived in Chicago just over a week ago, but still no where near normal. I've had the pleasure of visiting with a few friends, but I still spend most of my time at home on the couch in front of a television or a computer. Or napping.

This Monday I'd had enough. Enough! I woke-up at a normal time, put on normal clothes, and ran around town completing a few tasks I'd had on my "Once I return to the U.S." list.

• I bought new gym shoes
• Purchased a new tooth brush
• Washed my car (She'll need a few more scrubbings to remove all the bugs we splattered during our road trip.)
• Toured the gym a few minutes from home. I'd been exercising regularly while in Vancouver and it's something I insist on continuing in Chicago.
• Utilized a gift card and enjoyed a free lunch at Chipolte.

Upon returning home I felt happy and productive.  And then I felt exhausted and slept for over two hours.

I get to see a few more friends this week, but have learned that those moments will be the highlight of my day - not only in enjoyment, but in energy expenditure. I've also realized that time on the computer job searching and updating my resume has the same affect. So my recovery and return to Chicago continues... slowly.

This week's 'Killing Time on the Couch' is brought to you by:

Science fiction-fix courtesy of BBC America's weekday line-up...

Aiding in my Midwestern re-acclimation...

 Roseanne

Summing-up my attitude for the week...